>>crumpet<<

You know, holidays are excellent!

However.....

When you're home alone, with no-one to spend any quality time with, lounging around doing nothing day in day out, barred indoors but you're mother and doctor..then it can get a little bit tedious.

COME RESCUE ME!! Haha.

Nah I'm kidding, I'm enjoying the chance to relax :) it makes for a pleasent change from the hustle and bustle of school and working life!  I'm powering my way through to books - brushing up on my literary ettiquate, something with i don't get to do during the school term!

But i'll break the monotony with a trip to Brissy next week, bathe the culture for a while! sounds good to me!

Love you al!

-sarah

You know, holidays are excellent!

However.....

When you're home alone, with no-one to spend any quality time with, lounging around doing nothing day in day out, barred indoors but you're mother and doctor..then it can get a little bit tedious.

COME RESCUE ME!! Haha.

Nah I'm kidding, I'm enjoying the chance to relax :) it makes for a pleasent change from the hustle and bustle of school and working life!  I'm powering my way through to books - brushing up on my literary ettiquate, something with i don't get to do during the school term!

But i'll break the monotony with a trip to Brissy next week, bathe the culture for a while! sounds good to me!

Love you al!

-sarah

La La La

Picnic in the Park today! Was quite pleseant!

Nothing much else to report though. I have been holed up in bed, and am powering through the books. I seem to have caught up on a lot of lost sleep!

I would really like to get around to doing some school stuff, but i just couldn't be bothered! It feels like theholidays are almost over and i'll have to go back to school in a matter of days, but i have ages! I just have to keep reminding myself of that!

Nicole and mum are going to look at a horse tomorrow! Weee!

Hmm, I'm trying to summon something moderatly constructive to say here, but its just not happening for me. The weather is really nice? Although maybe a bit hot?

Pffft. Boredom much?

Mmm. Sleep. At the moment, it is an excellent thing.I can count the number of hours i was awake today on my left hand. I love it.

So, considering today involved so much sleep there isn't alot that i can write about. Except that i think my throat is getting sore-er (spelling??) but that is to be axpected. Doc said that it would be worse 5 - 7 days after, and its only been 3. Oh well.its kind of inhibitingmy ability to clearly communicate, i have watched myself talk in the mirror and it is highly amusing. Instead of actually being able to open my mouth properly i have to like jut it forward for added pronunciation. Or something like that. It sounds strange though, as if i am putting maxiumum effort into each and everyword. Which is perfectly understandable, becuase i am putting maximum effort into each and every word!

There was a family tragedy last night. My biggest goldfish passed away. I noticed he looked really sick yesterday morning, whenhewas swimming on kind of an angle and despite best efforts to save him he died last night, which i found incredibly distressing. And i have 5 other goldfish so i am worried that they all have some kind of fish virus. But to tell you the truth i think the fish was the victim of one of the seven sins. Gluttony. He was the biggest and the bossiest, and overate. ALOT. AS you would assume, i found this great loss increadibly distressing. I endured an operation, needles, hospital food and immense pain without tears, but i have to say that the death of a fish threw me.

Anyways, i'm sure there is something else that i should be doing considering that i've been asleep for most of the day, but in truth sleep is looking really good right now. Mum doesn't want me to go back to sleep though becuase i won't sleep properly tonight, which is a fair call. I was going to organise my school folders, put my stuff in the one folder so i can sort things out for next erm, but we we see. I got my report aswell, beside an A- in english all the rest were A's. I was stoked - i had to fight to keep those marks up this term, having missed almost 4 weeks of school. So i still have it in me :)

Aunty Carol and Uncle Ron are comming up for three days tomorrow. It will be great to see them, i always love seeing the relitives from Sydney. And i love Ron & Carol, they are the nicest reletivies you could watn. So it will be great to see them. I'm not sure what we're al going to get up to and how much energy it will involve though - i will just have to play it by ear.

WEll I'm off, take care all!

xoxo Much Love

I am home!

Minus my tonsils, plus a bunch of flowers, a get well soon ballon and bucket loads of drugs which are keeping me in a walking dead kind of state.

I dont think i can really call on my creativity tonight to make this a moderatly interesting blog, so don't get to excited.

News of the day: Sophie and Brad are going out.

To tell you the truth the news didn't bother me that much. I didn't feel like i was hit by a truck or anything. Maybe becuase i already felt like that. Though seriously, i didn't bother me. I was saddened that i came around when obviously it doesn't seem to be warrented, and i can see know that nothing will come of it except more hurt. But i am just at the stage, where i don't even want to know, i'm over it im over him and i have better things to spent my time thinking about.

Hello Minions.

Well, this will probably be the last blog ina while because my surgery is tomorrow, so don't get angry if it isn't updated! Not that anyone will check it but anyway..you get that.

Anyway, school was...rather tense today. Deception isn't a great maker of any friendship, so i was practising some skilled avoiding.Not my best side i admit, but i can't help it.

Maybe it right, maybe i'm not taking it aswell as i think.

But not in a hurt way, just in an angry, tierd, i don't even want to know anymore kind of way. *sigh* oh well we'll see. I won't be at school for a while anyway. Though i kind of would like to go to school tomorrow so i can give  a piece of my mind to someone.

Went to see 'John Tucker Must Die' with Britt last night. I love her, she's such a good outlet, cause she knows whats going on down to the last miniscule detail. I think we both needed the reprive. it was a good way to relax anyway, and i quite enjoyed having that laugh!!

Maybe it will do me good to get away from all this for a while. Clear the air so to speak! So i can come back and re-introduce, the new and improved Sarah!

WHoot, go team!!

Oh. My. Gosh.

I am soo exhausted its not even funny. But its a good exhausted. Its the exhausted thats telling me that all the hard work is finally over and that i can relax for a while. Little does my body know that it will have operation repair to deal with, not relaxation.

Tee Hee Hee i am so evil.

Anyway, all my exams and assignments are over, and i can relax for another term. And fortunatly my marks (as far as i know them) we suprisingly good. Considering that i missed probably four weeks of school this term, i must say that i was thrilled.

And work is over for three weeks aswell. But alas, not three weeks of holidays, but three weeks of bein gholed up in bed, removed from the wordof holiday excitment.

and newcastle are playing tomorrow night! go team!

I was massively snobbed by Brad today, and any attempt to try and make conversation or contact as hit the floor hard. Is it fair to say that I never meant it to be this way??

Good Evening All,

Okey, I'm afraid im going to have to have another respect rant. It seems that my last one didn't hit home hard enough.

That could be due to the limited number of people who actually take the time out of their day to read this blog, but still, I'm not entirely convinced.....

I was on the bus this afternoon when i witnessed an act with i can only conclude to be truley revolting. A guy was sitting their, bouncing this football off the back of the guy in front of him. The victim, can only be described as someone who is timid, and who the offender had full knowledge that they would not retalliate.

I was shocked and appalled, is this the kind of behaviour that we as the youths of today endorse? If so we should take a good hard look at ourselves. Cause i'm sorry but that is just not on. Damaging the feelings of someone else, just for your own pitifull entertainment and enjoyment is rediculous. its appaling, it really is.  I can not understand how it is remotley fully, or enjoyable or anything. Its just not

Fortunatly some sense was shown. Nat, my good friend, was the first one to notice that it was going on and absolulty went crazy at the guy, telling him to grow up and quit it. But do you think it hit home? Apparently not! The loser kept going! I could not beleive my eyes! As soon as Nat had alerted everyone though it seemed that we wern't the only people seeing some sense. Once again nat and i voiced our outrage quite profously, having no intention of backing down until he left the poor guy alone. Fianlly he did, but later errupted when someone threw a macadamia at him! Like, went crazy! We were just like, 'mate, you were sitting there throwing a football at someones head for you own sick entertainment? Don't thin you have any right to get up on your high horse about that!"

Obviously no apology follwed, but hopefuly the victim got the message that he's not alone and there are some decent people out there who won't put up with a crappy lack of respect as disregard for other. its just not on eople, and its not cool. grow up,

In other news, only seven days left untill my operation. Not long now! I worry that the full significance of it hasn't registered though, becuas eim not feeling nervous or sick yet. Come tuesday morning though, i will need all of the support i can get!

Arghh!

So Alive - Ryan Adams 

 Today I watched the boats
Moving through the harbor
Walking on water
In your arms I'd stay
Forever if I could
Fireer if I may
Keeps me in your thoughts, don't disappear

I am on your side
And so alive
So alive it isn't real

If this is how I feel
Then nothing now is true
And nothing now can ever be taken away from you
Sinking in the past
The things that shouldn't last
Just put to bed and stand beside me
Stand beside me

Always on your side
I'm on your side
And so alive it isn't real

I am on your side
And so alive
And so alive
And so alive

I am on your side
I am on your side
I am on your side
And so alive
So alive

Evening Keeds, 

It is just one of those nights i think. Time for a change of font. I should really be finishing my legal studies revision, but i am being distracted. Distracted by thoughts of nothingness. And m&m mosaics.

It rained today, and it was freezing. For sunny Queensland, the weather can be prety dismal. And compleatly freezing aswell! What is up with that anyway? It's warmer in New South Wales!

*sigh* Feeling...increadibly unfulfilled. Searching for something more, something which doesn't seem to exist at the moment. Its that same old end of term process, assignments, exams, late ngith full of coffee. After years and years of it, its starting to become tiresome. Intergrals, normal distribution, specific heat equations.

Don't get me wrong, i love al that stuff. Stuff that makes sense, stuff that explains other stuff. it works for me, and it look nice and neat al set out in my book, question in red, working in blue, answer highlighted in green. Perfect.

Except you know what? Its not perfect. Its becoming tedious. Somehow, i don't think i will ever be inclinded to mathematically calculate how long i have to drink my coffee before it drops below 70 C if i store it an a copper calorimeter. Fun equation, sure, but it's highly unlikely.

I'm looking for something i have to find a deeper meaning in. Something i have to struggle to make sense of, to get my head around. Something so deep and so complex that it daws you in, engulfs our mind compleatly. Something you can't do whilst making m&m mosics for your own amusment before you eat them.

have you ever read "When you wake and find me gone?" by Maureen McCarthy? I feel like Kit, lost inthe meaningless stuff. Even though its not really meaningless. Gah, I'm even confusing myself here! Maybe i don't know what i really want.

Espionage, terror and globel disorder. Now that sounds like something that i could really dig my teeth into.

Bah, I'm sure that this is just stage, bought on by sleep deprivation. I'm sure that when i sit down for a physics exam the importance of it all will all come flooding back. All the logical thinking skills that maths equips you with. All the thought process functions. The ability to distinguish and explain the differnce between calcium and strontium on a molecular level.

I want to meet a kid named Strontium, just on a personal note.

Anyway, back to it. Can't keep procrastinating forever you know!

B - BEST FRIEND(S): Sally, my angel i love you to pieces

C - CRUSH: Childish wording, i hate that term

D - DADS NAME: Kevin

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Sally, Myles and Britt

F - FAVE BAND?: Lots and lots, but the Hilltop hoods would have to take the top place

G - GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS: Neither

H - HOMETOWN: Hervey Bay

I - INSTRUMENT: i onlly wish that i could play one. Iwould love to be a proficient pianist

K - KIDS: Lol none at this stage! But yes, in the future i would love nothing more than to have kids to watch grow up

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Newcaslte to Cairns (But not in one go!)

M - MILK FLAVOR?: Iced Coffee

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1 sister

O - ONE WISH: The hearts were indesprucable - although in saying that every break down only serves to build upon one's inner strengh

P - PHOBIA(S): Fish. Except my goldfish, i love those

Q - FAVORITE QUOTE: Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jelous possesive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivian lightly, losing only a thing or two or little importance.

R - REASON TO SMILE: The dawn of a new day

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Silverchair - Ana's Song (Open Fire)

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 9:21 amd

U - UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I can like dislocate my hip

V - VEGETABLE YOU LIKE?: zucchini bok choy

W - WORST HABITS: Swearing, getting distracted

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: teeth

Y- YUMMY FOOD: chinese beef stir fry, honey mustard chicken stirfry

Z- ZODIAC SIGN: aquarious

Ooo..i am so bleary eye'd it isn't funny...

Well the labor government has done it again... a historic fourth term. I must say that Bettie's speech was very subdued, and i think he handled it excentlly. Thats one thing about him, his intentions are always good - if he makes a poor decision or judgement he admitts it and puts his head down, bum up to try and fix it. So congratulations peter.

In other celaborty news, GO NEWCASTLE!!!!

The game last night was so good, thats my team! I predicted an 8 point win, and we got 7, not bad if you ask me! I'm proud of my boys!

I wish i had been at the game, it kind of makes me homesick.

Anyway, night

Good Evening.

When i wrote that last blog i could have never realised how revelent that it could become to my present situation, how much truth was in it. Ironic, probably a delibrate twist of fate, i imagine.

I am starting afresh. As of yesterday i have put one stage of my life behind me and am looking forward to more great times ahead.People, great things aren't always perfect and beautiful faces can lie. No matter how great something is, there is always room for deception.

"Power  corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutley"

It so true, once you get a taste for something, no matter how unethical, immoral, and unfaithful something can be, there is always the ability for it to become contagious. A drug, taken on the side to give you that high that you can't get from a normal reletionship.

Whats that they say? Once a cheater always a cheater? Just like Macbeth - once he killed o fone person, although his deed were evil, he could not stop himself from continuing.

I don't regret it, there were good times, there were great times. But i'm glad its over, becuase i don't like the person that it made me be. I don't want my faith destroyed, my passion for life and love crushed.I don't wnat myheart broken. And its not, its numb with pain and anger, but its also soaring on the wings of a new breathe of life.

Move on, rise up!

Lilly Allen - Smile

when you first left me
I was wanting more
but you were f**king that girl next door
what did you do that for

when you first left me
I didnt know what to say
I'd never been on my own that way
just sat by myself all day

I was so lost back then
but with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end

now you're calling me up on the phone
so you can have a little whine and
a moan it's only because you're feeling alone

at first when I see you cry
yeah it makes me smile
yeah it makes me smile
at worst I feel bad for a while
but then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

whenever you see me
you say that you want me back
and I tell you it don't mean jack
no it dont mean jack

I couldn't stop laughing
no I just couldn't help myself
see you messed up my mental health
I was quite unwell

I was so lost back then
but with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end

now you're calling me up on the phone
just to have a little whine and
a moan it's only because you're feeling alone

at first when I see you cry
yeah it makes me smile
yeah it makes me smile
at worst I feel bad for a while
but then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

lalala (x26)

at first when I see you cry
yeah it makes me smile
yeah it makes me smile
at worst I feel bad for a while
but then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

lalala (x7)

at first when I see you cry
it makes me smile
yeah it makes me smile
at worst I feel bad for a while
but then I just smile
I go ahead and smile

Good evening.

I had alot to say tonight, alot of things going around in my head, alot of annoyances, alot of bones to pick. But now im  not so sure that i am quite ready to spill everything to the online community. Though i guess there are a few thingsi could share. I guess mostof it is about what makes up me, what are the building blocks of sarah, the things that shape me as a person.

I've always been someone who has tried to hold true to my values, me beilfs. It maysound bitchy but i have standards. Not i a bad way, i'd like anyone no matter who you are and where you come from. I think my standards come from other things, like respect and personal values.

I've always been a big  one for respect - respect for elders, friends, family, members of the oppisate sex, yourself. it makes you wonder sometimes, if you can't show your respect to someone over something basic, who can you show respect to. I hear primary school kids, all of 6, foul mouthed and abuseive to each other, and it makes you wonder, you know? It was only like 5 years ago when i was in primary school but if someone swore then it was a major major thing, never tolerated. Maybe we were sheltered at my little scool, if fact i have no doubt that we were sheltered. But i'm glad that we were, because i think it sculpted the person who i am.

Call me snobbish, or prudent, but things like foulmouthed swearing, agression, stuff like that, it makes me cringe. If someone was to swear at me, in a angry or agressive way, it would be a miracle if i could deal with it. Sounds weird, but its not something that i have alot of time for.

Todays socuety, todays youth seem to be losing something. Im not sure what it is - respecability, respect, dignity. I am the youth of today and sometimes what i see around me cares me. I have alot of love to give and alot of room in my heart for people who want it, but please, have some standards. Standards for who you are as a person. Its a common misconception standards, i don't think that you should have the right to judge anyone of things out of their control. But they are the only people who can control teir behaviour or who they are as a person. Just like i am the only one who can make the decision about who i am as a person and whati do.

This blog wasn't meant to sound like a bitch, or make me look like some stuck up snoob, and im not out to judge anyone. Im all for having a good time, and i can be the life of the party. But please, please, please. Do yourselves a favour and pay attention to how you treat yourselves and others.

Oh, and if your reading this pup, make sure you eat your fruit! And remeber - pink! lol

Morning World Wide Web. Or just morning to like the three people who will read this tonight.

No suprise, I'm still at home sick today. Feeling maybe a little better, but I've been up for most of the night becuase i keep waking myself up by incesent coughing that just won't go away.

I think im going to try and get a bit of work on school stuff today, I've got like three assignments due at the end of this week, so I'm not having much luck. I've missed so much school and am constantly feeling tierd and like crap, so its not really doing much to help me. I think i'm going to knock of my Physics first, becuase most of that is already done, i just have to re-write it out properly.

Christ i can't wiat till i get these organs out of my throat - only 27 days to go. Not that I'm counting at all either. But I can't wait to be able to feel healthy again, to have enough energy to study, to be able to do all my school work without having to worry about it, like i used to be able to do. To be able to sit through a class without being in danger of falling asleep. I just want the energy to do stuff agian.

i think I'm going to have a massive overhaul sometime soon, cuase i feel myself getting into a rut again. I don't feel like im on top of thing, but i'm not stressing either and thats dangerous. It eithe r shows that i've gotten to blarze about assingments and i going to seriously bomb out on something, or i'm just past caring. Thats not a good thing either.

*sigh* i don't know. But i should probably be doing my Physics assingment instead of this.

Sarah

hey all you bloggers,

is bloggers spelt with 1 g or 2? Hmm thats a good question. I never was much of a speller.

Well suprise suprise, Sarah is back home again from school, crook as a dog. Not just tonsilitis this time, although that is definatly still a problem. I've been hit hard with a case of the flu,  the really nasty one thats been going around. This is pretty much the first time i've been in a vertical position since Sunday afternoon. Its makeing me feel deathly nauseous and dizzy.

Any the last two days have been filled with lots and lots of sleep. And a few DVD's on occasion, but those are largely headache inducing aswell. Anything to escape the boredom

Watched Pride and Prejudie today , and was once against enchanced by the simplistic, educated romantic chaseing ways of mr darcy.

Going back to  bed.

Evening.

Not good evening, just evening.

I've been so lazy, i havn't written a blog in ages. I've bee nbusy i guess. And just havn't really had anything positive to wrte, so i didn't write anything at all. And i was going to write yesterday, but  i didn't feel like writning in yellow.

Bleh, not feeling so great this afternoon, i feel sick to the bottom of my stomach.

....

I am compleatly blissing out.

I'm in heaven. (It took me about three tries to spell that)

I'm listening to the Hilltop Hoods.

My beautiful, wonderful, smart, sensitive hunk of a man burnt me a CD with TWENTY-ONE hilltop hoods songs. Also a CD with 21 3 Days Grace Songs. I'm loving this so so much.

Anyways..moving on. I went to see that specialist in Gympie and i have to have my tonsil out. The operation is in 50 days.  Its great because I'm getting my tonsils out and i don't have to put up with them anymore. But its also not so great because of the whole operation hospital thing. In truth I'm really scared about it. I havn't been to hospital since i was born.

More antibiotics today, but im kicking on. I can't wait till its all over, but i'll be right,  i'm tonka tough.